Final Goodbye
by yourstruly.nishaboo
Summary: Catherine delivers her final goodbye to Gil before he is gone forever. [WARNING: Character death]


**Final Goodbye**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of CSI or the song.**

**Summary: Catherine delivers her final goodbye to Gil before he is gone forever.**

**A/N: I got this idea from a song, and the song is used in the story. It is Final Goodbye by Rihanna. I love her album so I had to do this. Warning it is sad. (sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes)

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I never should of waited so long to say  
What I've always known since the very first day  
Thought that you would stay forever with me  
But the time has come to leave

"For fifteen years I kept the fact that I loved you to myself." Catherine said holding Gils hand. She squeezed it praying that he would respond and not let her tell him goodbye again. "I always knew that I loved you, since the very first day. When I was with Eddie and all the other guys. I knew it. I was just…afraid."

She looked up at his helpless figure. Every minute he was slipping away from her.

"And then I told you. I found out that you loved me too." Her throat began to swell up and tears began to build. "We made love that day and you told be that you would love me forever, no matter what."

Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes  
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life  
Its you that I live for, and for you I die  
So I'll Lay here with you till the final goodbye

"The whole night we talked about why we never told each other." Catherine smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. "We didn't want to ruin our friendship if we didn't work out as lovers, but I knew that we would after you told me that you loved me. I just had a felling."

She wanted so much for him to comfort her. Put his arm around her and let her cry on his shoulder. She wanted to inhale his scent and know that she was safe and secure and that she would be okay only because of him. She wanted him to rock her and whisper his words of love and promises to her.

Hold, draw me close, close to my lips  
Listen intently as I tell you this  
Outside the world wages its rewards, I'll rest in peace as long as you know

She wanted to kiss him and make love to him over and over again. She wanted to see his smile and look into his beautiful blue eyes.

"You gave me the best days of my life. They were full of love, trust, and worship. They were full of you and me." She took a deep breath and more tear came down. "I never wanted them to end. It felt like I was in a fairy tail. You treated me like a queen."

Catherine used her other hand and grabbed the tiny gold heart shaped locket that hang around her neck. "I remember when you gave me this." She said smiling remembering they day she received it. "You said that you wanted me to wear it always because it had you and Lindsey's picture in it. And I told that I would, and I did. Because you two make the whole of my heart."

Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes  
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life  
Its you that I live for, and for you I die  
So I'll Lay here with you till the final goodbye

"Then you told me that you were sick." Catherine lay her head on his hand. Sobbing. "I didn't want to believe you. I didn't want you to go. That's what I was most afraid of. This." Catherine looked up to him. His eyes closed, skin pale. He looked peaceful, as if he was already gone, but his heartbeat was still going. Not the strongest but still there and Catherine never wanted to give up.

"I told you and promised you that I would be by your side. And I was because I loved you. I still do. With all my heart. I'm still here cause I'm not giving up. Not today and not tomorrow."

She knew that he could die right then, the next minute, the next second but there was something in her that never wanted to give up on him because he never gave up on her.

Promise you our love will carry on  
Until you turn eternal, we belong

"And now you're dying. I'm losing you and I don't know what to do. What am I going to do with out you?" She began to sob again the tears streaming. Her shoulders shook harder at the though of wanting his comfort.

She knew she had to let go and give her final goodbye. "Everyday I tell you goodbye." She said though the tears, "But now this is the last one because I know that you are almost gone. I don't want to do this. God I don't want to." Catherine wiped her hand over her tear soaked face. She knew that her eyes were puffy and red but she didn't care. She had sat here for days, never leaving his side.

Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes  
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life  
It's you that I live for, and for you I die  
So I'll lay here with you till the final goodbye

She lay on the bed beside him lacing her fingers with in. She rests her head on his chest. " I don't want you to leave but I know that it's not in my power. I wish that it were though. I know that you tried. You tried to fight to stay with us. I know that you do. You told me." She sniffed as she felling the silent tears run down her face. "You and the love that you've given me will always be in my heart. Always."

She heard his heart beat slowly. It was different this time telling her that this was it. She had to tell him before the lights of their life together went out and before the eyes of their love closed. Before he was gone away forever and days beyond that.

"This is a deep wound. I don't think that it will heal right if I don't tell you."

His respectful lips for the last time  
And spell out the lyrics to love in the sky  
Its you that I live for and for you I die  
So I'll lay here with you till the final goodbye

"I love you so much and I know that you know. But I live for you and when I die, it will be for you. I want to…to…" She began to sob at the words. "to…die…with you. I love you" She dug her head into his chest.

She cried until she fell asleep. She lay there with him. She knew that he was slipping as she slept and when she woke he would be gone. She wanted to sleep forever only to keep his heart going.

It was her muse. Her lullaby, her music, what kept her going. He had shown her what it was like to love, really love and now he was going away. Going to another place where she would be with him again.

She felt her muse stop. It pained her. She wanted to scream. But for what? It wouldn't bring him back. Nothing would.

Goodbye

"Goodbye." She said finishing her final goodbye.

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**So what ya think? I have to say…I almost cried writing this…lol. This is one of my favorite songs from her album. So please puppy dog eyes review…lol. :D**


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